Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Uncle Justin Lectures On Being A Man #2 - Courage

Hi Leif,

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  Your Aunt Crystal told me I needed to send you a note with a little more meat in it, so I feel another lecture is in order.  As your Uncle I am charged with certain aspects of your character development (with full permission from your parents, of course).  Being a man comes with some very important responsibilities.  Don't worry though Nephew, there are several good things about being a man that balance out those responsibilities.  I'll tell you about those later.  Now, we have some business to attend to.  The issue of courage is at hand and it may be one of the most important things you need to acknowledge and harness.  As a man, Leif, you must be courageous.  An interesting aspect of life is that in order to develop the good parts of one's character you must go though difficulty.  This is distinctly true with courage.  No matter how many times you'll read it in a novel or see it in some play, it is not true that someone has courage.  Courage is a practice.  It is something you do.
The word courage stirs the sinew and brings front images of strength.  It never comes by itself.  Courage always brings along ugly words like fear and pain.  Courage is the measure of your spirit in the midst of fear and pain.  There will be times in your life Leif, and I hope they are few, were you will be afraid.  Fear is not always a bad thing.  Fear keeps you safe.  It basically regulates stupidity.  Fear is something that tells you if you jump off your house it won't work out well for you.  Listen to it.  The problem is that too many people use fear as a commander, when they should use it as a consultant.  Fear should never get in the way of sound judgement.  There are many men, Nephew, that never get over being embarrassed when fear takes over.  For example, you don't drop a baby to swat a spider off your leg.  You should always be prepared to take the adrenaline rush of fear and use it to steel your nerve and fuel your decision to stand up for what's right.
Pain is also another source that brings courage.  Our bodies are wired to avoid pain, but sometimes having courage mean taking a little pain in the name of what's good and right.  I won't beleaguer this point with you Leif.  There is much time for it when you get older.
As a man you must be courageous in the face of fear.  Protect those you love when they are threatened.   Stand up for what's right and true.  It is moving forward when all those around you retreat.  It is standing up when all other's cower.  You are an American, Nephew.  In this country, we stand.

Love - Uncle Justin

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Good Night Leif

Hi Leif,

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  We had a nice evening as it's Thursday and that means the municipal band concert down at the park.  The weather was cooler than normal and we go to spend some nice time with friends, eat good food, listen to music, enjoy tradition and catch the fireflies (I was corrected as they call them lightning bugs down here) that dotted the night sky.  I think you would have enjoyed it and we would have enjoyed having you with us.  Things are always much more fun when children are around.  Talk to you soon Nephew.  Good night.

love - Uncle Justin

Thursday

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  Thought I was lost didn’t you?  It’s been a pretty busy week up here for me, and sometimes priorities get messed up when things start coming at you pretty fast.  Namely making sure I spend some time speaking with you.  So anyway, hi Nephew.  I’ve been thinking that things by you must seem pretty nice.  You’re probably thinking “Man this place is nice!  It’s warm, balmy even”.  Boy those Wisconsin winters have some surprises for you in about four months.  I’m going to come see you at Christmas and only be able to see your tiny head underneath a pile of blankets.  Just a little guy wrapped up so tight and warm he can’t help but sleep.  In a few short years those winters are going to bring you a lot of fun.  Your parents know all the great snow hills, Smores by the fire, snowball fights, building snow forts and watching the Packers in the playoffs. 
What more could a boy ask for?  Maybe some heat.  I remember as a kid pushing the cat out of the way so I could lay by the heater.  If you ever find yourself cursing the winters in Wisconsin, just bring yourself down here in Missouri for a little visit in August.  You’ll be begging for the cold.
Take care buddy.  I love you very much.
Love – Uncle Justin

Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday

Hi Leif,

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  Today is for thunderstorms here in Missouri.  We need it.  The summer sun and heat beats down on all things living.  The cool breeze and rain are a blessing.  Saw a rainbow yesterday.  It was full color and held a perfect arc across the horizon.  The weekend was a good one.  We went to the lake with some friends, swam in the waters, threw a football around and soaked up a little too much sun.
I was able to enjoy breakfast at my leisure this morning and finish reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.  A timeless story that I'm sure will enchant you when you're old enough to read it.  Have a great day Nephew.  I love you very much.

Love - Uncle Justin

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Uncle Justin Lectures on Being a Man - Lesson #1 - Moderation

Hi Leif,

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  As your uncle I get the privilege of teaching you things and assisting in the monumental task of making a man out of you.
Don't worry little guy - I know you're still very small, but we have a lot to go over and I want to make sure we get all the ground rules for being a good man down on paper. I think the issue of moderation is a good one to start with Nephew, especially since you're an American and as a country we have issue with moderating anything.
There are many things in life that are good and that will give you great joy and pleasure.  However, nothing is free in this world Leif, there are costs to pay.  Life's pleasures are meant for your enjoyment, but you must have the discipline to moderate your submission to anything that takes away your control.  As a man, Nephew, you must be in control.  Somebody or something having control over you is unacceptable.  I don't want to be confused on this point here Leif.  Submission to God or to your spouse is a must and is good.  I mean control as in creating your own demons by allowing yourself to be lost because you gave power to a physical pleasure that dominates, destroys or changes you in some way that you would have never allowed if under your own disciplined influence.
The issue of disciplining yourself in the moderation of life's physical pleasures is a daunting task, but if you want to be a good man, it's something you must do.  This is not the best news, I know, but the payoff is worth it.  Unless you get self-righteous about it.  Then we would have to have another talk.
Do we have to moderate everything?  Is moderating always good?  The answers to both those questions is a fast no.  As a man you must be decisive, strong willed and ready to take a stand.  You must moderate life's pleasures so that they do not take you over, but you must never moderate your courage or dignity.  Here's a quote from Dan Millman's Way of the Peaceful Warrior:
"Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew".
I don't want to be confused on the point Nephew, I don't want you to be a brash, loudmouth, unyielding, blustering buffoon.  Then we would have to have another talk.  But, I want you to be a man of decision.  One that stands up for what's right.  A man either does the right thing or does not, no wavering or waffling.  There are a lot of people you're going to run across in your life who'll try and muddy your sense of right and wrong.   Follow your gut Nephew, stand by your principals and kindly shrug them off, for they would be more than happy to see you jump on your own sword. 
Wordy tonight - sorry about that Leif, but that is the way lectures usually are.  I love you very much and can't wait to see you.

Sleep Well,
Love - Uncle Justin.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Weekend Time Leif

Hi Leif

I hope this note finds you well and happy.  Enjoy your first weekend on earth.  I hope it lives up to your standards.
Things are fairly simple for you now Nephew.  Your wants, needs and emotions are so pure it’s a beautiful thing to see.  Being young as you are your needs revolve simply around comfort, hunger and safety.  You’re either feeling safe or you’re not, hungry or not, comfortable or not.  The older you get, so will the complexities of your needs grow and this is a good thing.  Complex people are more interesting.
I have my own boy, your cousin Elijah, and the speed at which these changes occur steals my breath.  You’ll find, Nephew, that everything beautiful is also fleeting – but that is not a bad thing and I don’t want to be confused on this point, it’s rather important.
When my boy changes, whether be it from crawling to walking, babbling changing into words or soft baby features becoming hard lines and muscle, I feel a tinge of sadness at the loss but this is enshrouded by a torrent of wonder, love and awe at the continuing growth of my little boy into a man.  Yesterday I was playing with him in the pool and was struck dumb for a moment when I noticed his feet had become longer.  Who notices that?  Anyway, Leif, I digress – get used to adults doing that.  We mean well.
I’ll be thinking of you.

Love – Uncle Justin

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Walk

Hi Leif,

I would like to sing you a lullaby.  I used to sing this to my own boy when he was a baby and it put him right out.  I will try to do Anselmo credit.






Love - Uncle Justin